Taking a look at myself

In the recent weeks I've decided to make some changes in my life and I think it's because I just turned 30. I didn't think I was going to have this reaction to turning 30 but I believe I was wrong. The first and most major change actually came about 3 months ago when I quit smoking. It was actually a bet made with a guy I play pool with, who only wanted to help me quit, so we bet $50 and I had to give him 3-1 odds. So if I smoke before May 13 I owe him $150. This was the kick in the ass I needed to help me quit. In my opinion the biggest reason people fail at quitting smoking is because they are trying to quit because they should and not because they want to. So when they have a bad day they say fuck it and light up because they actually still want to smoke. This was my problem, I actually enjoy smoking and everything about it except the fact it's gonna kill me. I couldn't quit because I didn't want to but when I was faced with a large monetary loss it forced me to look at what was really important. On a side note I will not be accepting the $50 from the bet if I do win, I will buy us a couple drinks or something because the possibility of losing $150 has helped me make one of the biggest decisions of my life. Thank You Frank Hooper.

Something else my wife and I decided to do this year was to give back. We're unsure of to what or whom we will be giving to, but we realize we're in a fortunate position to help others and we are excited to do so.

I am also trying to fix a personal flaw that I have. I am often times too hard on people and expect too much from them. I have this expectation for whatever they do or say to be correct. Obviously nobody can meet these expectations so when they do eventually fail I am annoyed and feel like I can't trust anybody to do anything and put more pressure on myself and more work on my plate. This is very unfair to people I work with and people I interact with and hope I can treat people more fair.

I'm just trying to watch how I treat and act toward people and be a better person. This is why I changed my blog gadget(on the side) from my "list-o-shit that annoys me" to "My Pool Lingo" because I don't want to be mean and rude to people for the sake of being mean and rude. I'm considering some other life changes but am not going to share just yet as I haven't decided how to approach the solution to a problem that a certain overindulgence tends to bring about. Will share more once I decide.

Woofing is part of the show

I love pool for many reasons and one of them is the atmosphere of being in a poolhall. Last week there were two guys going back and forth over what the spot should be. Flyboy says "12-4." Superstar says "11-5." Flyboy disgustedly replies "We played 11-5 last time and you still beat me. You gotta give me 12-4 or 11-5 and the breaks." Superstar calmly says "I barely beat you at 11-5 and you really should have won but you made a couple dumb mistakes. Besides giving you the breaks is worth 2 balls, I'll play ya 12-6 but no way I can go 12-4." Flyboy is getting more frustrated by the second says "Fine, we'll go 12-5." Superstar is getting a little annoyed and says "I'll play ya 11-5 or 12-6 but that's it." Flyboy hears him but gives no audio reply, only a squench of his eyes and a grimace. I was practicing and had completely stopped and was listening to these guys going back and forth hoping they would get a game made so I could watch flyboy play, I've been wanting to matchup with him but didn't really know how well he played one pocket. Both went back to practicing on their own tables and about 3 minutes later Flyboy says "12-5 whenever your ready to play." I got a nice chuckle out of that, talking shit is just part of the game when gambling. Both sides ask for a better spot than they deserve because they're playing for money and want an easier path to winning.

Like the name says: "The life and times of a self-employed pocket-billiard player."

So I'm still not playing good pool but I'm doing better. I have switched to wearing contacts as it more conducive to pool playing and not looking over the top of my glasses when I'm down on a shot. I won my Tuesday night league this week 7-4 and am 6-1 over the last 2 weeks of BCA league. To reiterate from my last blog, I'm winning but not playing well.

I met with one of my employees (Bandido) today and we got to bullshitting about the guy he used to work for (RT) was ripping him off. I know this guy and he is a liar and a thief, but I had to side with him regarding one aspect of their dispute. Bandido bought a truck and trailer from RT and it turned out they were pieces of shit so he had multiple breakdowns and had to borrow money from RT. Well when it was time for Bandido to get a check RT had pulled out what he had lent him and Bandido had very little money to pay his bills. Bandido thought RT should take the money back over a few checks, he said I couldn't pay my rent or my utilities. Bandido said RT just didn't give a fuck about him or his family. I feel bad for the position Bandido was in but just because someone owns their own business doesn't mean they're rich and can lend out money willy-nilly with no worry of when repayment will be made. RT and I do the same thing and I've been in this same position. Why do they think it's MY job to pay for their breakdowns or other emergencies? I have bills to pay business-wise and personally and I'm not about to risk either one of those so they can pay their rent. It's not my fault they are in this position of being broke and about to be evicted. I didn't make them handle their money like a 10 year old. Bandido has worked for me for 5 months, and was 5 months behind on his bills when he started. He is now current on his bills and has some money put away for breakdowns. I'm much better at what I do that RT is, but if Bandido had a breakdown and had to borrow money from me I would have taken every fucking dime back immediately. Not because I don't give a fuck about him or his family, but because ALL I care about is mine.

And let's just say for the sake of argument I am getting rich by owning my own business, I'm entitled to all the riches and don't owe anyone an apology or explanation. I'm the one at risk, I'm the one who has the worries of payroll, the buck stops with me and if I can get rich, I deserve that for having the brains and balls to start my own business. It bothers me when people complain about the price of something saying that it's too expensive or they're probably making so much money on this. What's that got to do with the price of tea in China? In other words, it's none of your fucking business what they produced it for or what their markup is. If you don't like it, don't buy it.

I'm back in the saddle again

So after a long hiatus I'm back to blogging and hopefully, playing more pool. I haven't actually practiced in at least 2 weeks and have only played pool at my New Years Eve party. That's not enough!! I played league tonight and lost. I didn't miss very many shots but my speed was off so I was hooking myself and could never get out. I HATE giving myself excuses to lose so not practicing isn't an excuse, I got outplayed by someone I should beat 7 out of 10 times and I have got to get better. On my Tuesday night league I've got a very good record even after my loss tonight, I'm like 8-3 now. But I've noticed that lately I haven't been playing very well and it can be difficult to notice when you're still winning. One of the upsides to playing well and people knowing who you are and how you shoot is they have more pressure on them to get out because they know that if they don't then they are not going to get back to the table. The downside to the same situation is it's easy to think you're playing good because you're winning when that's actually not the case, I'm not playing as well as I can and I need to stop paying attention to if I win or lose and start playing good fucking pool. The captian of the team I'm on said "Don't worry, you can't win them all." Obviously I can't win every match, but I will never look at it like I can't win them all because that just another excuse for losing. I'm going to need to get my shit together because tomorrow night is the more competitive league and it's more of a grind, playing only one game at a time instead of my Tuesday night's system of play one person a race to 7 games. I will most likely not be home in time tomorrow night to blog because we play our match on one table so I will hopefully update on Thursday.